Letting Go...

Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be a "little" uptight (I can hear my husband laughing about the use of "little" right now).  However, I was raised to be determined and focused, which can look like uptight behavior.

While parenting Jackson, it was initially easy to maintain determination and focus.  Essentially, he did exactly what I wanted him to do.  He potty-trained easily, went to bed without a whimper, and was the model child in public situations.  Life was easy, and I continued on the path of having things exactly the way I wanted them to be.

And, then came Scout...  Nothing with Scout is easy (if you know Scout, this is not a lie or an exaggeration of the truth).  Scout, who is almost three, still wears pull-ups, rarely ever naps, and is a, dare I say, bully at daycare.  Life with Scout is NOT easy, and I can not continue on the path of having things exactly the way I want them to be.

However, this post is not about praising Jackson and belittling Scout.  I love my children equally (sometimes?).  This post is actually an apology.  Recently, more often than not, I am short tempered with my children, which is not fair to them.  I need to let go of having things the way I want them to be or expect them to be.   Accidents and unplanned events occur on a daily basis.  If I don't start to embrace them and adjust, I will continue to miss out on life (and make my family miserable ☹).

I love you Scoutie and Jackson!

Jackson & Scout returning home from a recent weekend trip.

A girl after my own heart.

As daring as ever!

Cheerleader

Scout does EVERYTHING to the extreme, which can be a good thing or a bad thing.  When she is happy or excited, enthusiasm reins her little body.  Her smile spreads from ear to ear, and her laughter is contagious.  When she is upset, her grief is inconsolable, and her cries break my heart.

On September 30, 2012, I completed my first (and probably last) marathon.  It was not the experience that I had hoped it to be, but I finished with the support of many people.  My mother was both wise and generous to book hotel rooms in Portland the night before the race.  And by rooms, plural, I mean that my mother, AKA "The Saint,"  agreed to have both kids spend the night with her, while Wade and I got to spend the night ALONE.  Speaking of Wade, he outdid himself running with me from miles 12-18.  Even though he complained about carrying a water bottle, and he gave some of my food away to a fellow runner, I might have given up if it was not for him.  At the start of the race, it was a HUGE treat to see my longtime college (and after college) roommate, Kim.  Kim was running her first half marathon and running with her for the first six and a half miles helped me get the marathon off to a good start!  By the end of the marathon, I really had nothing left to give emotionally or physically.  So,  it was nice to be joined by my super speedy sister-in-law who graciously ran, or should I say walked, with me the last six grueling miles.  As if the support I received from my mother, Wade, Jen & Kim was not enough, I was also very fortunate to have friends stand in the pouring rain and cheer me on.  

So you might me asking yourself, "How does Scout fit in to this story?  This is a blog about Life with Scout."  With .2 miles left in the marathon, I was greeted by Scout sitting on top of Wade's shoulders.  She, of course, was drenched from the rain, but beaming~a smile that spread from ear to ear.  Prompted by both Wade and Jen, Scout cheered for me.  The kind of cheer that I so desperately needed to finish the marathon.  And while I am convinced that the jostling motion from sitting on Wade's shoulders and running probably gave her brain damage, I am ever so grateful for her ability to do EVERYTHING to the extreme.

While this picture is not from the marathon, it does show her sweet smile!