Letting Go...

Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be a "little" uptight (I can hear my husband laughing about the use of "little" right now).  However, I was raised to be determined and focused, which can look like uptight behavior.

While parenting Jackson, it was initially easy to maintain determination and focus.  Essentially, he did exactly what I wanted him to do.  He potty-trained easily, went to bed without a whimper, and was the model child in public situations.  Life was easy, and I continued on the path of having things exactly the way I wanted them to be.

And, then came Scout...  Nothing with Scout is easy (if you know Scout, this is not a lie or an exaggeration of the truth).  Scout, who is almost three, still wears pull-ups, rarely ever naps, and is a, dare I say, bully at daycare.  Life with Scout is NOT easy, and I can not continue on the path of having things exactly the way I want them to be.

However, this post is not about praising Jackson and belittling Scout.  I love my children equally (sometimes?).  This post is actually an apology.  Recently, more often than not, I am short tempered with my children, which is not fair to them.  I need to let go of having things the way I want them to be or expect them to be.   Accidents and unplanned events occur on a daily basis.  If I don't start to embrace them and adjust, I will continue to miss out on life (and make my family miserable ☹).

I love you Scoutie and Jackson!

Jackson & Scout returning home from a recent weekend trip.

A girl after my own heart.

As daring as ever!

Cheerleader

Scout does EVERYTHING to the extreme, which can be a good thing or a bad thing.  When she is happy or excited, enthusiasm reins her little body.  Her smile spreads from ear to ear, and her laughter is contagious.  When she is upset, her grief is inconsolable, and her cries break my heart.

On September 30, 2012, I completed my first (and probably last) marathon.  It was not the experience that I had hoped it to be, but I finished with the support of many people.  My mother was both wise and generous to book hotel rooms in Portland the night before the race.  And by rooms, plural, I mean that my mother, AKA "The Saint,"  agreed to have both kids spend the night with her, while Wade and I got to spend the night ALONE.  Speaking of Wade, he outdid himself running with me from miles 12-18.  Even though he complained about carrying a water bottle, and he gave some of my food away to a fellow runner, I might have given up if it was not for him.  At the start of the race, it was a HUGE treat to see my longtime college (and after college) roommate, Kim.  Kim was running her first half marathon and running with her for the first six and a half miles helped me get the marathon off to a good start!  By the end of the marathon, I really had nothing left to give emotionally or physically.  So,  it was nice to be joined by my super speedy sister-in-law who graciously ran, or should I say walked, with me the last six grueling miles.  As if the support I received from my mother, Wade, Jen & Kim was not enough, I was also very fortunate to have friends stand in the pouring rain and cheer me on.  

So you might me asking yourself, "How does Scout fit in to this story?  This is a blog about Life with Scout."  With .2 miles left in the marathon, I was greeted by Scout sitting on top of Wade's shoulders.  She, of course, was drenched from the rain, but beaming~a smile that spread from ear to ear.  Prompted by both Wade and Jen, Scout cheered for me.  The kind of cheer that I so desperately needed to finish the marathon.  And while I am convinced that the jostling motion from sitting on Wade's shoulders and running probably gave her brain damage, I am ever so grateful for her ability to do EVERYTHING to the extreme.

While this picture is not from the marathon, it does show her sweet smile!

That Green Thing

    

A few weeks ago I was joking with a colleague that Scout LOVED all green vegetables~ lettuce, peas, broccoli, even brussel sprouts.  So, I guess that I should have not been surprised when I heard Jackson screaming, "Mom, she ate it.  That green thing on the counter."  The "green thing" that Jackson could not identify was a zucchini, and he was correct.  Scout had snatched the zucchini from the counter and took a rather large bite leaving bits of zucchini on her face. 

Can you see the zucchini on her face?

In our house, only Scout would bite into a zucchini like that!  However, that was not the end of the zucchini.  About four eggs, a little flour and THREE cups of sugar later, Jackson was enjoying his favorite zucchini muffins!

Differences

It is often hard to believe that two children born and raised by the same parents could behave so differently.  My children looked very similar as toddlers.  Both Jackson and Scout had "slightly" larger than normal heads (a Rybarczyk family trait that I, personally, LOVE), bright blue eyes (Wade claims came from him) and golden blonde curly hair.  That is where their similarities came to a SCREECHING halt.   Jackson is essentially an "easy" child to parent.  He is very well behaved, quiet and can entertain himself.  I will also add that Jackson is messy (a trait that I am convinced comes from Wade) and highly anxious.   Now, Scout is a very different story.  She is a "challenging" child to parent.  Scout is not well behaved, quiet, or entertained by her toys.  In fact, if Scout is EVER quiet or entertaining herself something VERY bad is happening in our home.

So, why all the talk about differences.  On our last Friday of summer vacation, I had the "crazy" idea to take three children Jackson, Scout and Tucker (my nephew) to Splashtown (don't worry, I wouldn't embark on such a perilous journey without a little help from Starbucks). At Splashtown the differences between Jackson and Scout were blinding.  Jackson wanted to know where I was at every moment, despite my best attempts to keep he and his cousin informed.  Also, Jackson was fearful of some of the water rides. And, to be honest, I see nothing wrong with a healthy sense of fear.  But, I worry when Jackson's fears reduce him to tears.  I also worry when a child like Scout has NO fear.  Scout wanted nothing to do with me at Splashtown.  She would try to "run" away every chance she got and because Scout is small she could maneuver through the crowds better than I.  You may be asking yourself where Scout was headed when she was running away?  Scout was insistent that she could ride the Tornado.  A water slide that was funnel shaped, about a mile off the ground and appeared to make adults pee their pants with fear.  

I guess the bottom line is that I would like Jackson and Scout to be less different. Jackson could really use some of Scout's no fear attitude, and Scout really use some of Jackson's overly cautious demeanor.  

(I tried REALLY hard to take pictures of the three kids at Splashtown, but I firmly believe that I would need professional photography equipment comparable to that of National Geographic to photograph Scout running around Splashtown; however, I do have a few pictures from the cottage this weekend.)

Jackson "goofing" around in the kayak

Finally,  a photo of Scout without a lollipop in her mouth

Mommy & Scout before our kayak voyage

Iridescent

"Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss... But every once in a while you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare."
~From the book, "Flipped" by Wendelin Van Draanen

So, unfortunately, as a middle school teacher my quotes or references to text are limited to juvenile literature.  However,  the quote still fits Scout.  As her personality continues to develop, I grow to love her more each day.  Whether she is standing on a kick board in the water "pretending to surf," spontaneously kissing a friend's "boo boo" or stripping off her clothes and running around a birthday party naked, Scout is truly iridescent; she shines.  

"Arrr, I'm a Pirate!"

Aboard the HMS Bounty-Belfast, ME

Ever since our trip to LegoLand last month, Scout has been fascinated with pirates.  It all started innocently enough with the LegoLand show "Battle for Brickbeard's Bounty." At first, I was convinced that Scout would not even sit through this show, so imagine my surprise when she sat so quietly with her eyes fixated on Brickbeard and Sawtooth, the shark.  Upon our return home, Scout was still talking about pirates (and Sawtooth), so my mother sent us a link to a youTube video of the show.  Scout has watch that video everyday for over a month.  But that's not all...she calls herself a pirate, talks like a pirate, and she even smells like a pirate(sometimes)!  And when she's not the pirate, her dolls are pirates.   

So, it was quite fortuitous that a replica of the HMS Bounty (a vessel used in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies) was going to be docked in Belfast while we were visiting Searsport this weekend.  Scout got to tour a "pirate" ship, and get her picture taken with a "pirate."  Secretly, I was hoping that they would invite her to join their crew, sadly, they did not.

Batten down the hatches and shiver me timbers,  I'm raising a pirate. Yikes!

Breaking My Heart...

There are very few things that can break my heart.  Before I had children, I was a sucker for a sappy commercial or news story about a dog.  In fact, one day when I was on my way to work, I heard a news story about a dog that was stranded on the roof of a house in a flood zone.  I'll admit it; I cried the rest of the trip into work.  However,  these days, one sure way to break my heart is the sound of Scout's cry.  Over the past week, Scout has reverted back to her nightly routine of crying at bedtime.  This cry brings on immediate stress and a tug at my heart to comfort her.   Wade, who can at times be the more rational parent, has been reminding me that we need to stay strong and not take her out of her bed.  However, when your child is crying for Momma it is truly heart breaking.